And so it is...

So Damien O' Rice once said and it is true. It always is. There is no redemption sometimes and I shall now stop here....right here...

Stuck in a Moment

I am stuck in a moment and I am angry. I am upset. I am....

Zsa Zsa Zoo?

So is no one ever good enough? Does there always have to be "Zsa Zsa Zoo" to get you forward? I do not know. I feel awful after having done what I did. I do not know how to step aside and think about it anymore. It just bothers me. May be I am not good enough. May be I should just learn to let good people come my way and let them remain. May be.

All the Men

Well there are several men in my life and I just realized that I can let them be in my life without letting my life take a flying fuck. I can be in control of my life, love all these men and let them be. Too much time has been spent on them and now I will only spend time and effort on them if I see it going someplace for me as well..I mean I give and I give and I give some more and then at the end of the day I get nothing. Yes it is about giving and receiving. Love or Lust or whatever you might want to call it. It is just that. And the sooner we all understand it the better it is. I am not bitter about any experience. I loved these men - I think 7 to be precise and the bottomline is that none of them loved me back and if they did in their very strange way then its only nice. And if they did not then its too bad for them and not me. I am not just saying this for the sake of it but I believe it. A new start is called for...Its high time already.

The Weekend...

Its almost short of a holiday these days or at least that's what happens to me at work on a Friday Evening. I wait in anticipation to leave that dreaded place and go out drinking (not that I do that quite often) or on a nice date (which is also a rarity these days)...all said and done I love my weekends...there is nothing more gratifying than that after a 5-day week...I pity people and friends who have 6-day work weeks and love my job sometimes...aaahhh...orgasmic it is...yes it is....

The weekend however also comes and goes away way too soon and I end up feeling as though I have done absolutely nothing. Zilch. I should have sex more often on holidays. That would help. May be out of city sex - a Pune or Matheran may be...what say?

And what is it that I do over the weekend besides watching films, reading or going to the library? Must do something new.....must do something new...and now I do not know what I am keying in anymore...so bye bye...

After a long time...

I bumped into him after a long time on yahoo messenger. He was in Zurich and did not have that much time on hand...We spoke...not of old times but times to come...we chatted a lot...he has not emailed me yet...i wonder why? do...if you are reading this which i am sure you are :-)

So I am Horny...

Well last night I had a so-called date; a very funny one at that - he was not funny in the funny sense of the word. He was just blah, extremely boring and cute and had a problem with me being horny...Well what do I tell such people? There was nothing I could and there was nothing that I did. Ironically enough he by the end of the date wanted to just do it badly and here I am thinking to myself, "Well darling holier than thou doesn't work", so I turn around and just tell him one thing, "Be yourself" and I walk away from there. It was a lame response and yet as
I walked away the thought lingered, "Is being horny bad enough?". I debated. I was restless cos I did not get my answer and finally I did. Not at all. I am ok. I am fine. I am just charged a lot more than the others and I have no bones about it. I do not claim to want friendship or make any friends. I have mine and I am happy with them. I am quite candid about what I need and I guess that's what intimidates people and if it does, then may be there aren't men enough for me.